The way worry and fear can bring you to your knees sometimes, much of it is perhaps not really about life-changing, disastrous things but rather the minor stuff. It is not to say that life does not have a method of hurling incredibly challenging fast bullets at us but for the betterment of this discussion let us stay focused on how to remain emotionally regulated and calm during the other moments when you feel taken hostage emotionally by the minor things.
Psychologist Shivani says worry and fear may feel overwhelming and have a manner of tricking you into believing that everything is lost. These are normal feelings. And when your sense of self gets trapped up into this, it is even more complicated. For instance, think of how a failure for someone who is perfectionistic and believes they should do things perfectly can impact them. This is why minor things can resonate so greatly. It may feel like a threat to your very survival!
Do you relate to any of the following situations?
· I am worried about meeting this person. What if I do not measure up to him?
· I am worried about my date tonight. What if she/he rejects me?
· I am bothered about my presentation at the office tomorrow. What if I fail to impress?
The issue is if you let your worries to engulf you, it is not just agonizing but may lead to self-contentment prophecy.
In this blog, India’s leading Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo talks about simple ways to stop worrying regarding minor things.
Do Not Go Ahead of Yourself
If you feel as if the future has already happened you are getting an emotional reaction, that is your worry about something that has not occurred yet. Practice living in the moment by trying this:
How: Slowly focus on an object in your room with. Observe it in a manner you never have before. What color it has? What design it is? Is it perhaps more beautiful than you realized? Breathe slowly.
Practice Self-Acceptance
Since, worry can revolve around an unsure sense of self, it is vital to try moving your self-concept from negative to positive.
How: Thinks of an affirmation for yourself for instance I am worthy, I will be fine. Each day, either say this affirmation aloud or think of it to help integrate this belief into your mind and heart.
Place Your Hand Over Your Heart
If you are worried, anxious, or fearful, it is possibly your fight or flight system is activated and your cortisol levels have heightened. Oxytocin is an antidote to your stress hormone, cortisol. Several people can release it themselves.
How: Keep your hand over your heart, close your eyes, and think of someone you feel completely secure with. A beloved person or a pet will do too. As you think of feeling loved, sit with this feeling for around 30 seconds. Feel the calm.
Re-evaluate Your Worry
Always keep in mind that your perception drives your worry. You are the only individual who can assign meaning to those things. So if you allow worry to do a lot of things try to practice re-evaluate it to something more productive.
How: Think of something you mostly worry about. Is there another method you can see this situation? For instance, if you fear you will not do good on an upcoming assignment, what is really the worst thing that can happen? Is it as big as life and death, as your physiological reaction is suggesting to you?
Get a Trusted Ally
A trusted colleague or a friend can be called upon to assist clarify your thinking. Get someone on board, explain what you are acting on, and how they can support you. When you see yourself worrying, call on them to help you process.
Worries and fears are all valid human emotions. But living in a continuous or easily triggered state of either of them can make way to unnecessary suffering. Learning to not frittered about the minor things is a hallmark of resilience and assured improvement in your emotional health as a whole.
Lastly, bear in mind that the above can at times spills into true anxiety which if persistent enough might need extra resources for maximum relief. The above methods can certainly help but if it is not sufficient, find the help you need.
If you have tried the above methods and are not finding relief, a therapist can assist you to get unstuck. There might be prior experiences in your family or somewhere else that explains why it is more daunting for you.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
