Reasons Certain People Get Angrier Compared to Others
You must have seen or heard about the recent incident where an eminent Hollywood star slapped the event presenter publicly during the Oscar Awards. Must be shocking for everyone. Right? Psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo explores the reasons why certain people get mad or angry within a moment.
Well, it is reasonably predictable that some people may become angry when they feel something is unfair, unpleasant, or blameworthy. But the question arises why do certain individuals get mad or angrier a lot more intensely than others. India’s eminent psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares some of the causes that contribute to a sudden burst of madness or anger in a person.
Trigger event
To begin, take a look at the easiest part of this formula: the trigger event. There is always some kind of event that occurs right before someone becomes angry that serves as the trigger (for instance, being cut off in traffic, being insulted by someone). Typically, people feel that their anger is caused by these circumstances and they say things such as, “I got mad since, I got cut off by a driver in front of me” or “that man-made me so mad.” The conclusion here is that those events caused their anger directly, and there were no other justifying factors. Definitely, we know that cannot be true. If it were, everyone might respond in the same manner to such situations. In simpler words, we would all react the same when we are cut off in traffic or when we are faced with an insult.
Individual aspects
What, then, are the other factors that cause our anger? First, there are the aspects of the individual–in this scenario, the individual who was cut off or insulted. Here, there are basically two things that matter: personality characteristics and the pre-anger state. Beginning with personality traits, we understand that there are specific characteristics that make people more likely to experience anger (for instance narcissism, competitiveness, and low frustration tolerance). While an exhaustive review of these personality characteristics is well beyond the scope of this write-up, it is perfectly intuitive that a highly competitive individual may get angry when cut off in traffic because to them, driving might be more of a competition with the others while on the road. Similarly, narcissistic individuals might think of themselves as the most important person on the road and could be irritated by the other driver for that reason.
The second part of this, the pre-anger state, includes how an individual was feeling physiologically and psychologically just prior to the situation. When a person is tired, anxious, or already angry, they are more possibly to respond with anger. Some of this has to do with plain physiological arousal. A nervous person already has a higher heart rate so does not have as far to go to become angry.
Appraisal of the situation
Eventually, though, whether or not one gets angry in response to a specific situation has to do with how you appraise or evaluate the situation. To cite an example let us assume you have gone for a movie with your friend even though your friend was eligible, he was carded when purchasing his ticket. The interaction went like this:
Your friend as he handed over his ID: “Are you serious?”
A person at the counter looked at the ID and handed him the ticket: “Sorry, but we are instructed to ask whenever we are uncertain.”
Even though your friend was later allowed inside, he kept bringing it up, pointing out how this person had tried to embarrass him, how he should be fired, and so on. While you said that it seemed like a small mistake, he got angry with you, saying, “No one should ever make a mistake like that!”. He needs to be fired.
What one can tell you is that the appraisals of the event were very different for you and your friend and his appraisal led to him getting very angry.
This is what psychologists refer to as cognitive appraisal. It is said that one gets angry when they appraise a situation as blameworthy, unjustified, or punishable. In this instance, your friend had decided that this request was unjustified (“no one should ever commit a mistake like that”) and punishable (“he needs to be fired”). If he had analyzed the situation a little distinctively (for instance “that’s a silly request but it is not a big deal”), your friend would not have become so angry.
The vital thing to remember about a cognitive appraisal is that an individual’s anger-inducing interpretation or appraisal of a situation is not necessarily inaccurate. It was an extreme example cited where your friend and you interpreted the situation in quite different ways, and you would never go so far as to suggest that your friend’s interpretation was incorrect and yours’ was right. In fact, at times people are absolutely right in their appraisal that they have been treated wrongly and, in those scenarios, anger is a quite reasonable emotion to feel.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
