Reveals, Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo
Whether you have just celebrated one year of your marriage or 15 years, there is always scope to strengthen your relationship for the bigger goal of long-term happiness within your union. And while this seems different for every couple, there are certain core things everyone in a blissful union can focus on in order to sustain a happy marriage that will last a lifetime, says couples therapist Shivani Sadhoo.
A little self-work—together—can go a long way. A healthy, long-term connection boils down to two individuals showing up in the best versions of themselves, which can solely come through self-awareness and a look at what can I, not they, do better,” reveals Shivani.
So how exactly do couples achieve that—being the finest versions of themselves, together? Here, Delhi’s top marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo speaks through the keys to long-term happiness in a marriage. And these may be simpler than you actually think.
First, understand yourself
Prior to you can do any work on a relationship, each individual partner needs to look inward in an attempt to show up in the best manner possible for themselves, their partner, and the marriage as a whole. “People always wish to say [the key to happiness] is communication, but good communication begins only with knowing how you show up to your partner and to the overall relationship. “This needs taking onus for your thoughts and actions and doing your personal work (either on your own or with a marriage counselor) to be the finest version of yourself daily every day.
Observe how you argue
Arguing within any form of relationship is simply unavoidable—particularly if you are in it for a long time. It is to be emphasized that you cannot simply fight to win or fight to play the victim role. Couples who fight constantly are forming a relational culture between them that is seen in one-upmanship and competition, where a partner is a victor and the other one is vanquished.
However, couples who aspire to feel closer to one another during tougher times should consider that eventually, two partners’ goals are the same. Healthy relationships that survive the test of time are ones where each partner realizes that the relationship is a zero amount, which means, if your partner loses, then you lose too. And if you truly love this person, why would you wish them to lose anything?
Form healthy habits
Good habits are the base of any healthy relationship, and that is inclusive of the relationship with yourself and with your partner. If both partners do the work to develop healthy habits on their own and together within the marriage, it sets everyone up for success. Even though it might seem like going to couples’ counseling is not necessary until problems arrive.
Seeking a couples therapist before major issues come up could be an excellent way to work on habit-forming as partners. A good and certified therapist such as Shivani Sadhoo can help you form healthy habits––such as identifying and countering unhealthy narratives––which will solely result in the longevity of your relationship.
When it is about the biggest piece of relationship advice for long-term happiness in your marriage is quite simple: Take responsibility. This is the elixir only a few people want to take but it is the one that creates all the difference. The mark of a really mature relationship is one where both partners see and accept their shortcomings, know where they have misbalanced, and are not afraid to own Personal responsibility is often the road less traveled. However, it is the road of emotional intelligence.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.