Insights from Marriage Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo
Marriage is a profound commitment that involves blending two lives together. As a marriage counselor, I have had the privilege of guiding couples through various challenges, including age differences.
In this article, Delhi’s top marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares insights and advice on age disparities within a marriage, helping couples forge a path toward a successful and harmonious union.
Understanding individual perspectives
Age differences can bring unique dynamics to a marriage. It is essential for couples to recognize and respect each other’s individual perspectives shaped by their generational experiences. The diverse perspectives can enrich the relationship, offering fresh insights and fostering personal growth. Taking the time to understand and appreciate each other’s viewpoints is key to building empathy and a strong foundation for communication.
Age gaps work differently for all couples. For some, a 2 years-gap works well, while for others, a 5- or 10-year gap is what they have been looking for. There are several people who would love to have a partner irrespective of any gender, who is quite older to them. It is all about what suits whom the best. But, several successful marriages have a perfect age gap that blends compatibility with preferences. And for a few, it could be a huge obstacle. Let us now understand how different age gaps can fare for couples as explained by couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo.
5 to 7 years age gap
Couples with a moderate age gap often experience fewer clashes, misunderstandings, and arguments. The presence of a partner who brings greater maturity to the relationship helps to prevent the marriage from crumbling under the weight of conflicts. This particular age gap is considered ideal as it fosters stability and enables a deep understanding between partners who share a close perspective on life.
10 years age gap
In marriages where there is ample love and understanding between spouses, a 10-year age gap can be navigated successfully. When both partners share aligned life goals, ambitions, and perspectives, the age difference may not pose a significant threat. However, for couples with average circumstances, such a gap can sometimes present challenges. The younger partner may struggle to match the maturity level of their older counterpart, potentially leading to various issues within the relationship.
20 years age gap
The ideal age gap for couples in a marriage does not typically extend beyond 20 years. While there are notable exceptions among famous couples, it is important to recognize that significant age differences can introduce substantial challenges. Shifts in goals, ambitions, and opinions become more pronounced, potentially straining the relationship. One of the most significant areas of contention can be the desire to have children. The older spouse may have a greater urgency to start a family, while the younger spouse may not share the same enthusiasm. The disparity in thinking levels can emerge as a major drawback in such situations.
Does the age gap truly matter?
In general, a significant age gap in marriages can lead to substantial differences in opinions, especially considering the rapidly changing world we live in today. These differences can contribute to shorter-lived and more problematic marriages. The larger the age gap, the greater the potential for difficulties that couples may encounter. While a small age gap can be more effective in fostering understanding and compatibility, a two-decade age difference is often associated with a higher likelihood of challenges and complications within the relationship.
Age differences need not be seen as obstacles to a successful marriage. By fostering open communication, challenging societal expectations, and embracing individual growth, couples can forge a strong and fulfilling union. Nurturing shared values, interests, and respect ensures that the age gap becomes insignificant in the face of a genuine and loving connection. Remember, every marriage is unique, and with commitment, understanding, and a willingness to evolve, couples can build a lasting and resilient partnership that transcends age.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
