Every relationship experiences its fair share of ups and downs. Conflicts are a natural part of being with someone, and minor disagreements are bound to occur. However, when these minor bickerings start to constantly disturb your bliss, it’s time to reflect on your relationship.
Frequent arguments over trivial issues can leave an indelible mark, creating a dysfunctional pattern that feels like being stuck on a hamster wheel. You may feel that you’ve reached a tipping point where the negativity or suffering in your relationship outweighs the positive connection.
What does the death of a relationship really look like?
One of the top couples counselors and relationship experts in Delhi, Shivani Misri Sadhoo helps us understand the seven stages of the death of a relationship.
When Reality Bites
Imagine facing a sudden and unexpected change in your relationship. It’s natural to feel shock and disbelief as you try to understand what went wrong. This stage, known as disillusionment, is when the initial excitement and idealization of your partner give way to a more realistic view.
You might start to notice flaws that you previously overlooked, leading to feelings of disappointment and frustration. During this time, it’s important to allow yourself to reflect on the relationship’s history and seek support from a trusted friend, but avoid getting stuck in this phase.
Communication Breakdown
You suddenly stop looking forward to meaningful conversations with your partner. Where you once eagerly anticipated deep discussions on weekends, you now avoid bringing up relationship issues, knowing nothing will change.
Instead, you coexist like roommates, crossing paths occasionally. This breakdown in communication leads to surface-level interactions, fostering resentment, frustration, and anger as deeper issues go unaddressed.
When Doubt Creeps In
In the Doubt stage, couples start to question their feelings and the future of their marriage. They may experience frustration or resentment towards each other and begin to wonder if their relationship is worth saving.
These doubts often lead to fantasies about being with someone else, as they grapple with whether their love is still strong or if it has faded. This period of uncertainty can make partners feel disheartened and unsure about their commitment to each other.
Lack of Affection and Intimacy
Emotional withdrawal happens when partners start to drift apart, leading to a lack of meaningful interaction and intimacy. Communication becomes shallow, and deep conversations become infrequent. It feels like you’re living separate lives, sharing the same space without truly connecting.
The joyful moments you once enjoyed, like reading together or taking leisurely walks, are replaced by a growing distance. This detachment results in both physical and emotional disconnection, leaving you feeling isolated and lonely.
The magic in your touch is gone, and the sense of connection has faded, making your relationship feel cold and distant.
Loss of Trust
Trust, as we all know, is fundamental to a healthy relationship. When trust is broken—whether through infidelity, lies, or other betrayals—it can create a chasm filled with suspicion, anger, and resentment.
This erosion of trust often makes it challenging for couples to move forward, leading to a breakdown in communication and emotional connection. If trust is lacking, it can cause doubts about your partner and result in withholding information from them.
This deficit in trust affects key relationship factors such as emotional support, compatibility, and dependability, ultimately signaling that the relationship may be failing. In essence, trust is crucial for fostering growth and peace in a relationship, and its absence can indicate deeper issues that need to be addressed.
Feeling Uncomfortable Always
It may be hard to believe, but if you’re constantly walking on eggshells around your partner, it can create a sense of anxiety and discomfort in your relationship.
When you feel unable to express your thoughts or desires freely because you fear a negative reaction, it leads to frequent feelings of unease and worry. No one deserves to feel anxious and uncomfortable every day in their relationship.
If you’re constantly worried about your partner’s response and unable to be yourself, it’s crucial to address these feelings and work towards a healthier, more open relationship dynamic.
Final Decision
The final stage is perhaps the most painful but also liberating. This is when both partners reach the point of acceptance, acknowledging that their relationship is beyond repair despite their best efforts.
They recognize that no amount of intervention can salvage what has been lost, leading to a decision to separate or divorce. This stage involves a heavy-hearted farewell to the relationship, a realization that continuing together would only prolong discomfort.
While this acceptance can be deeply painful, it also brings a sense of freedom, allowing both individuals to seek new paths and find happiness elsewhere. The final decision marks the end of a journey, paving the way for new beginnings and personal growth.
Closing Thoughts
Relationships are not always about roses and sunshine. They go through various stages, from disillusionment and communication breakdown to trust erosion and the final decision to part ways. Understanding these stages can help you navigate the complexities of a relationship and find the courage to seek a healthier, happier path. Try and consult a relationship counselor to understand the way forward. Never say never!
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
