Friendship is like a breath of fresh air, infusing our lives with comfort, joy, and a sense of renewal. Friends are the ones with whom we share our deepest secrets, knowing they will always be there for us.
But what happens When the person who was once your confidant no longer feels trustworthy? The once vibrant chemistry has dulled, and the bond you shared feels distant.
A friend who has choices and values that clash with yours can be as exhausting as one who hasn’t changed or grown since you first met.
Is your friend getting toxic towards you? How do you find out?
Expert couples therapist and relationship expert, in Delhi NCR, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tell-tale signs of a toxic friend in this article.
Constant Criticism
A true friend is like a mirror, reflecting our true selves and offering honest feedback, but when that concern turns into frequent criticism, the friendship becomes toxic. If your friend makes fun of you or embarrasses you in front of others, it’s not harmless teasing but a way to undermine your confidence.
Such behavior puts you in self-doubt and shows a lack of respect for your feelings. A genuine friend will never shame you or play with your emotions; they may not always say what you want to hear, but they will always respect you and support you.
Manipulative Behaviour
When a friend constantly plays the victim to manipulate you, it’s a clear sign of a toxic relationship. This guilt-tripping tactic is a form of manipulation that makes you feel responsible for their problems or actions.
For instance, if your friend frequently blames you for not being supportive enough, even when you’ve done your best, they’re using guilt to control you. This behavior undermines healthy communication and mutual respect, often harming your well-being. If you notice this pattern, it’s crucial to recognize it as a sign of toxicity and address it to protect yourself and the relationship.
Emotional Exhaustion
Feeling emotionally drained and trapped around a friend is a clear sign of toxicity. For instance, if spending time with them leaves you exhausted and anxious, affecting your focus and enjoyment in other areas of life, it’s a red flag.
Imagine a friend who always demands attention and support but never reciprocates. You might feel stressed, fatigued, or frustrated, and notice that you’re making sacrifices while your needs go unmet. This imbalance and emotional toll indicate a toxic friendship that drains rather than nourishes your well-being.
Walking On Eggshells Around Them
A true friend is someone you can share everything with without fear. If you constantly feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them, worried about how they’ll react to what you say or do, it’s a clear sign of a toxic friendship.
For example, if you’re always stressed about how to respond to their texts to avoid upsetting them, or if your interactions feel like an emotional roller coaster, then the friendship may be unhealthy. This constant anxiety and the need to tiptoe around their feelings suggest that you can’t be your authentic self and that the friendship is more damaging than supportive.
Disrespect Your Boundaries
A clear sign of a toxic friend is their consistent disregard for your boundaries, whether they’re related to your time, space, or personal limits. Boundaries, shaped by our morals, beliefs, and comfort levels, are crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.
For example, if you tell a friend you need some alone time, but they keep showing up uninvited or insist on spending time together, they are disrespecting your boundaries. This lack of respect indicates that they don’t value your needs or well-being, which is a strong indication of a toxic friendship.
One-sided Friendship
If your friend constantly needs your help but never returns the favor, the friendship might be toxic. In a healthy friendship, both people give and receive equally. If you’re always the one making plans, offering support, and listening, but your friend only focuses on themselves, it’s one-sided.
For example, if you always comfort them in tough times, but they never check on you, it’s time to reconsider. Your mental health is better without that imbalance.
While friendships are meant to uplift and enrich our lives, recognizing toxic patterns is crucial for maintaining your well-being. Constant criticism, manipulative behavior, emotional exhaustion, an uncomfortable feeling, disrespecting boundaries, and one-sided interactions are clear signs of a toxic friend. Stay away from such negativity.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
