Spotting the Signs of Infidelity in Your Husband or Wife

Has your better half been acting a little different lately? Like, they are suddenly on a sugar rush of sweetness – surprising you with roses and serving up hot chocolate on random chilly nights. Do these adorable acts make you go “aww” or “hmm”? Cute or suspicious? Could those flowers be a guilt-induced cover-up and hot chocolate just a warm front for a cold betrayal? Or, has your spouse been dodging eye contact or pulling the disappearing act, showing up fashionably late to the love party? Is it just life getting in the way or is there some secret rendezvous happening?

So many questions keep popping into your mind. Doubt can be a relentless companion, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. If you find yourself navigating this maze of uncertainty, it’s essential to be aware of potential signs of infidelity. While no single clue is definitive proof, a combination of behaviours might suggest that something is amiss.

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What are the spotting signs of infidelity in your spouse?

Let’s find out from marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo the tell-tale signs of infidelity between spouses.

1. Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Intimacy is a cornerstone of a romantic relationship, and alterations in this aspect can be telling. Open communication and emotional honesty are like two pillars of any strong relationship that builds intimacy between partners. If your partner appears emotionally distant or disengaged or withdraws from conversations and intimacy, it could be a red flag. A sudden disinterest in discussing future plans or engaging in meaningful conversations can be indicative of emotional infidelity.

2. Too many secrets

In today’s digital age, clandestine conversations have become effortlessly discreet. If your partner becomes defensive about their phone, avoids talking about messages or calls, or frequently sneaks away for private talks, it’s worth exploring. While respecting privacy is crucial, excessive secrecy can erode trust.

Openly discussing boundaries and expectations regarding digital interactions can help strike a delicate balance. Cheaters often amplify their use of phones and computers, guarding them intensely. If your partner, who never password-protected their devices before, suddenly does, or if they’re clearing texts and browser history regularly, those are red flags.

3. Sweetness Overload

If suddenly your partner becomes unusually affectionate, showering you with gifts and extra attention, it might not be as sweet as it seems. This over-the-top affection could be a red flag signaling potential infidelity.

The guilt and desire to conceal an affair may be driving this sudden surge of affection, creating a facade to mask the underlying betrayal. So, if you find yourself on the receiving end of an abundance of gifts and attention, it’s worth paying attention to the possibility that something more complex may be at play in your relationship.

4. Too many Lies

As weeks or months pass with your partner engaged in an affair, you start noticing inconsistencies that just don’t add up. Every extramarital involvement involves a web of lies, creating a need for seamless consistency. When pressed for proof, your partner’s reluctance becomes apparent, contradicting their previous claims.

Conversations with their friends or colleagues, previously cited as alibis, reveal discrepancies. If defensive responses and emotional reactions accompany these red flags, it’s time to consider the possibility of infidelity. Addressing the web of little white lies becomes crucial in deciding the future of your relationship.

5. Altered Appearance

Notice any recent changes in your partner’s appearance? A sudden obsession with the gym, a trendy new hairstyle, or a wardrobe upgrade could signal more than a simple makeover. When people cheat, they often amp up their efforts in the looks department to catch someone’s eye—possibly not yours.


Once you are aware of these signs and many more such indicators, it becomes imperative to address them promptly. Understanding the nuances of emotional disconnection, secrecy, excessive sweetness, dishonesty, and altered appearances can empower individuals to navigate the complexities of infidelity, fostering open communication and informed decisions for the future of their relationships.