Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo says, I often hear from couples that they are in great despair and they frightened that their relationship is beyond help. Their communications have broken down, trust has eroded and sex is almost nonexistent. I also frequently see fundamentally strong couples that may be facing a specific crisis and want the aid of a professional.
Couple and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo has years of experience of helping couples to save their relationship and marriage and bring back peace and harmony in their life. They ways she approach is first to teach a method of communicating that allows couples to resolve their own issues during and after therapy.
• Provide the couple with an understanding of the goals of therapy.
• Set the boundaries of therapy so each will feel safe to express his or her point of view in a way the other can hear and understand, even though he or she may not agree.
• Set the stages for couple to have conscious relationships, i.e. each partner begins to understand hot he or she is contributing to the conflicts and how using a different communication style can lead to the joyful and harmonious relationship they both deserve.
• Identify negative patterns that are hindering the quality of your relationship and friendship.
• Learn how to stop blaming each other so you can work through problems without power struggles.
• Recognise the cause & effect patterns in your relationship.
• Find healthy ways to communicate and relate to each other, which will strengthen the quality of your partnership.
• Get through the difficult phase when daily stressors interfere with romance and connections.
• Reconnect to the love and passion of your earlier relationship.
Marriage counselling is type of therapy where a married couple works with a therapist to identify, discuss, explore and hopefully resolve different issues happening within a relationship. It is designed to "treat" the marriage. Part of the therapeutic process involves indentifying what is working right in the relationship and building upon the good. Hence, marriage counseling is goal focused and solution oriented.
Here are the signs in your relationship or marriage that you should seek a help from relationship counsellor:
• Communication has become negative: Once the communication between the partners has deteriorated, often it is difficult to get it going back in the right direction. Nagative communication can include anything that leaves one partner feeling depressed, insecure, disregarded, or wanting to withdraw from the feelings but emotional or physical abuse, as well as nonverbal communication.
• When couples become more like roommates than a married couple. It does not mean if the couple isn't doing everything together they are in trouble. If there is a lack of communication, conversation and intimacy or any other elements the couple feels are important and they feel they just "co-exist," this may be an indication that a skilled clinician can help sort out what is missing and how to get it back.
• When couples say, we know what's wrong, but we just don't know how to fix it.
• When one or both partners consider having an affair or one partner has had an affair.
• When a couple is staying together for the sake of the children. Often couples believe that they are doing the right thing when staying together actually is detrimental to the children. On the contrary, if the couple is able to resolve issue and move toward a positive, healthy relationship, this may be the best decision for all involved.
Each day, we have the opportunity to make our relationships even stronger than they were the day before. Sometimes all it takes is a slight change in our behaviour to make our partner feel more loved, more heard, and more accepted. Relationship Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests few simple things that can bring back the sparks and make all the difference in your relationship.
If you notice that your partner is particularly busy, take the extra step to make his or her life easier. Maybe cleaning dishes isn't normally your chore but if you see your partner barely has had time to breathe, make an exception and tackle that sink full of dirty plates when your maid in on leave.
Between jobs, kids, friends and housework, our lives can get pretty full. Instead of making your marital life a routine time table, figure out one day in a month when you both can leave your kids with your parents or with a relative (if possible), take a leave from office and go out with your wife or husband to watch a romantic movie or for long bike ride.
Make sure the activity is capable of steering your minds away from topics like EMI's, bills, kid's education, in-laws and obligations. These dates are great times to check in about how a person has been feeling, talk about mutual interests, or experience something completely new.
So many couples have tendencies to stop touching each other daily that displays GENTLE care and love, especially when their marriage gets 10-15 years old or when their kids grew up.
Never stop hugging, holding hands, and placing your arm round the partner's shoulder. No matter what is the age of your marriage.
The role of psychotherapy in treating clinical depression is to help the person develop good coping strategies for dealing with everyday stressors.
There are a number of benefits to be gained from using psychotherapy in treating clinical depression:
1. It can help reduce stress in your life.
2. It can give you a new perspective on problems with family, friends, or co-workers.
3. It can make it easier to stick to your treatment.
4. You can use it to learn how to cope with possible side effects from depression medication.
5. You learn ways to talk to other people about your condition.
6. It helps catch early signs that your depression is getting worse.