Top marriage counsellor and couples therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo warns how to identify if your partner has commitment issues or not
Commitment – a word that carries weight in relationships, yet often sends shivers down our spines. Commitment implies a profound dedication to one’s partner, a willingness to prioritize the relationship above personal desires, and a readiness to shoulder responsibility. Yet, in a world where we often struggle to make choices and uphold commitments, it’s not uncommon to encounter individuals grappling with commitment issues. Whether it’s evading discussions about the future or shying away from defining the relationship, the signs of commitment phobia can manifest in various ways.
So, how do you identify if your partner has commitment issues? Leading marriage counselor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo warns her readers to watch out for the following red flags:
1. Avoid Talking About the Future – When you love someone, it is natural to think about your future together. Talking about future plans and goals is important in a relationship. If your partner avoids these discussions or can’t imagine a future with you, it might be a sign of commitment issues. It’s okay to live in the moment, but if they never think about the next stage, it could mean they fear commitment. This pattern in relationships could be a red flag.
2. Emotionally Distant – In today’s fast-paced world, feeling stressed or depressed can happen often. Sometimes, it makes us distant from our partners, especially after tough days. But if this distance becomes a habit, it could signal a commitment issue. It’s like a shield against vulnerability. This barrier makes connecting tough, hurting the other person. If someone constantly feels distant, it may hint at deeper problems, causing worry, especially for those with self-esteem struggles.
3. Lack of Honest Communication – Open and honest communication is an essential part of any relationship. When one partner struggles to share their feelings or past experiences, it could signal commitment issues. Despite spending months together, conversations remain superficial, avoiding deeper emotions or personal topics. While some may just need time to open up, consistent difficulty being vulnerable might indicate fear of commitment. Recognizing this lack of openness early on can help address concerns and foster a healthier relationship.
4. Avoiding your messages and phone calls – When you’re in a relationship, you expect timely replies to your messages and calls. It shows respect and care. If your partner consistently doesn’t reply or gives half-hearted responses, it might signal commitment issues. This behaviour suggests they might not prioritize the relationship or fear getting too close. It’s important to address this directly. Their inability to commit may hinder the relationship’s growth and cause frustration.
5. State of Confusion – Sometimes when your partner seems hot and cold, it might mean they’re not sure about committing. They could be scared of getting hurt or missing out on something better. This fear makes them unsure about their feelings and keeps them from fully committing. They might act interested one moment and distant the next to protect themselves. But this can hurt you because you feel like you’re not good enough. So, watch out for this confusion—it could mean they have commitment issues.
6. Avoiding Conflicts – Many people believe that conflict harms relationships. However, conflict can lead to positive change if both partners are willing to address it. It reveals interdependence and helps focus on core issues. Avoiding conflict may indicate a lack of commitment or difficulty facing uncomfortable conversations. Studies show that disagreements are normal and not necessarily signs of deeper problems. Thus, avoiding conflict could signal commitment issues in partners.
Conclusion – Therefore, it is evident from this article that recognizing signs of commitment issues in a partner is vital for nurturing a healthy relationship. Open communication, emotional availability, and willingness to address conflicts are vital for overcoming barriers to commitment.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
