It often happens in relationships that partners begin to feel disconnected. They may have been deeply in love when they first met, sharing laughter, dreams, and plans for the future. But as time goes on, the dynamics between them can begin to shift. The initial spark may dim under the weight of daily routines, unspoken expectations, or unresolved conflicts. What once felt effortless now requires intention.
Silence begins to replace conversation. Emotional distance creeps in sometimes unnoticed at first, until the feeling of truly being known begins to fade.
Why doesn’t your partner seem to understand you?
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the best marriage and relationship counsellors in Delhi and India, is here to explain.
Lack of Communication
Lack of communication creates a silent wall between partners, making it hard to truly know each other. When feelings, concerns, and thoughts go unspoken, assumptions take their place, often leading to misunderstandings. One partner may feel neglected while the other feels unheard.
Over time, this emotional gap widens, creating frustration and loneliness. Without open dialogue, it’s nearly impossible to meet each other’s needs or resolve conflicts, ultimately weakening the bond and trust that hold the relationship together.
Different Emotional Wavelength
Sometimes the partners are not on the same emotional wavelength. For instance, if one partner is feeling stress and anxiety, the other partner might be feeling calm, detached, or even joyful.
This emotional mismatch can lead to misunderstandings, frustration, or feelings of disconnection. The anxious partner may feel unsupported or invalidated, while the other may feel overwhelmed or unsure how to help. This is another reason why one partner cannot understand the other.
Unfulfilled Expectations
When someone doesn’t say what they truly need or hope for, their partner is left trying to read between the lines. Maybe one person longs for more affection or support, but assumes their partner will just know.
Meanwhile, the other thinks everything is fine. This quiet disconnect grows—one feels unseen, the other confused. It’s not about a lack of love, but a lack of clarity. Without honest conversations, even caring partners can miss each other completely.
Unresolved Conflicts
Conflicts are a natural part of any relationship, but it’s how we deal with them that really shapes how strong and lasting the connection becomes. Sometimes, unresolved issues quietly linger in the background, creating emotional distance, hurt, or confusion. When these feelings aren’t talked about, they can slowly chip away at trust and closeness. One partner might hold on to past arguments or grudges, making it hard to truly see or understand the other’s side. Over time, this can lead to feeling disconnected, even when love is still there.
Technology Creates The Gap
We are living in a digital world, and it’s changing the way couples relate to each other. One partner might always be on their phone, texting or scrolling, while the other just wants real, face-to-face time. This can lead to misunderstandings—one feels ignored, the other doesn’t see a problem.
If one isn’t into technology, they might feel left out or frustrated. Even something simple like what’s shared on social media can cause arguments. Over time, these small things create distance. That’s why honest communication and balance are so important in relationships today.
Busy Life Causes a Rift
Today, life feels like a never-ending race. We’re all juggling work, responsibilities, and deadlines—and in the middle of it all, relationships often take a back seat. When two people get caught up in the rush, they stop really seeing or hearing each other.
A quick “How was your day?” replaces real conversation. One partner might feel ignored, while the other is just trying to keep up. Slowly, they start drifting apart, not out of lack of love, but because they’re too busy to truly connect like they used to.
Now that you see what might be creating distance between you and your partner—missed conversations, emotional mismatches, everyday stress, or just feeling unseen—you can start making space for real connection again. Relationships need care, not perfection. With honest talks, patience, and small efforts to understand each other, the love you once shared can still grow stronger.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship counsellor by the world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained in specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also certified in emotionally focused therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, and dialectical behaviour therapy.
Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialized training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counselors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practices independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India, but also is listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital Panel – Institute of Brain and Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
Call Counselor: +91-8860875040
Email: saarthiforlife@gmail.com
