Living Apart Together – A Rising Modern Marriage Trend in India?

What is LAT “Living Apart Together” – A Rising Modern Marriage Trend in India? Answers relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo

Falling in love is beautiful. But, more important—far more essential—is to grow in love. To tend to it the way you would a fragile little garden—watering it gently, giving it sunlight, pulling out the weeds, day after day.

Because love, real love, is not just the sweet rush of butterflies in your stomach, or those first dizzying late-night phone calls where you can’t stop smiling at nothing in particular. It’s not just fireworks. It’s the quiet moments too—the patience, the understanding, the choice to stay kind even on days when the world feels heavy.

And yet, in the hustle and bustle of modern life, how often do we get to press the pause button?

We are all sprinting—from meetings to deadlines, from errands to emails, from one obligation to another. We live in a world that glorifies busyness, and somewhere along the way, the soft, slow art of loving each other often gets lost. It’s not that we don’t care anymore; it’s just that life sometimes leaves very little room for tenderness. Couples still love deeply, but that love can feel trapped, suffocated even, under the weight of constant demands.

But here’s the thing—love has a quiet resilience. It finds a way to endure, to adapt, to evolve. And sometimes, in its evolution, it takes on forms that are unconventional, even surprising.

One of those forms is something the world is now beginning to talk about openly: Living Apart Together, or LAT. If you are wondering what it is and why it is a trending topic nowadays, then let’s read this article where India’s eminent marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains it all.

What is “Living Apart Together” (LAT) Relationship Trend?

LAT or Living Apart Together simply means that couples in a relationship choose to live separately while staying committed to each other. Let’s not confuse this arrangement with a long-distance relationship.

While the former is a matter of choice, the latter usually happens out of compulsion—when external factors like work pressure, education, or family obligations prevent couples from living together. Unlike LAT, a long-distance relationship does not always give couples the opportunity to design the relationship on their own terms, since physical distance is dictated by circumstance rather than preference.

1. The Power Of Autonomy

One of the most common reasons for LAT is the fact that some people simply love their autonomy. Marriage sometimes does not give couples the opportunity to think for themselves, and the pressures of life make them lose their autonomy.

Maintaining personal routines, interests, and space supports self-development and well-being while preserving identity, values, and goals. When partners pursue their own interests and make independent decisions, they feel empowered, leading to deeper satisfaction, healthier conflict resolution, and richer relationships through shared yet distinct experiences.

2. Personal Space Matters

Another reason many couples are choosing LAT is the need for personal space in a relationship. Giving each other space in a relationship does not mean that love is missing; it simply means that couples are allowing one another the freedom to grow as individuals while still nurturing the bond they share.

Living apart gives partners the chance to pursue their passions, focus on careers, and enjoy hobbies without feeling restricted. When they come together, the routine life becomes more interesting and every moment spent feels special. It is as if love adds a new meaning to your life. One does not feel suffocated any more.

3. Best of Both Worlds

Sometimes work commitments make couples choose a living-apart-together (LAT) relationship, and honestly, it’s not because they want to be apart—it’s because they’re chasing dreams. Balancing career goals and love isn’t easy, but LAT makes space for both. It lets partners grow individually without giving up on each other. After all, a relationship feels strongest when both people are happy and fulfilled, and this way, love doesn’t get lost while pursuing ambitions—it actually grows with them.

4. Emotional Bandwidth Mismatch

Have you heard of the word emotional bandwidth mismatch? It happens when partners differ in how much emotional energy they can give to the relationship, and sometimes that imbalance can feel overwhelming or even suffocating. For couples who love each other but find the daily demands of living under one roof too draining, choosing to live apart together (LAT) can be a healthy solution.

By maintaining separate spaces, they protect their personal autonomy while easing the emotional load that might build up in constant proximity. In this way, LAT becomes less about distance and more about creating the right balance to keep the relationship strong and fulfilling.

In a Nutshell

In a nutshell, these are some of the reasons why many modern couples in India are embracing the LAT trend. Autonomy, personal space, career growth, and emotional balance are key factors shaping this choice. Far from weakening bonds, this arrangement often strengthens them—showing that love doesn’t always need shared walls to flourish, only shared commitment and understanding.