Friendship is a cherished bond that brings joy and support to our lives. But what if the person you consider a friend isn’t really on the same page as you? How do you find out if someone you count on is a real friend or a fake one? With the advent of digital connections and virtual interactions, determining the authenticity of friendships has become even more difficult. India’s eminent couples therapist and relationship counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares 5 tell-tale signs to help the readers make the right choice.
What are the 5 signs that convey your friend is not real?
Some of the signs that indicate you may have a fake friend are:
They are never there in times of need
One of the most telling signs that someone might not be a true friend is their absence during your moments of vulnerability. Genuine friends stand by you through thick and thin, offering their support when you need it most. If your friend consistently seems to be conveniently unavailable or uninterested when you’re facing challenges or seeking advice, it’s time to take a closer look at the nature of your relationship. True friends won’t shy away from your struggles; instead, they will lend a helping hand and a listening ear, demonstrating their care and commitment. Never trust a fair-weather friend.
A true friend recognizes that life isn’t all rainbows and sunshine. They understand that being present for each other during tough times strengthens the bond. Whether you’re dealing with a breakup, a family crisis, or a personal struggle, a genuine friend will go out of their way to offer support and comfort. If your friend consistently prioritizes their convenience over your needs, it might be a sign that their intentions are less than genuine.
They don’t care about your feelings or opinions
A genuine friend respects your feelings, opinions, and boundaries. If your friend consistently dismisses your emotions, belittles your thoughts, or disregards your boundaries, it’s a sign that they might not truly care about your well-being. Healthy friendships thrive on open communication and mutual respect. Your friend should listen to your concerns without judgment and offer their support without hesitation.
When it’s Conditional
Friendship should be unconditional. If your friend’s behavior changes based on your circumstances or what you can provide for them, it’s a sign of a superficial connection. True friends accept you for who you are, regardless of your achievements, social status, or possessions. If your friend’s loyalty wavers depending on external factors, it’s time to reconsider the authenticity of the bond.
Spilling Your Secrets
Trust is the foundation of any strong friendship. If your friend fails to keep your secrets locked up like a treasure chest and repeatedly breaks your trust by sharing your personal information, spreading rumours, or betraying your confidence, it’s a sign that they might not have your best interests at heart. A genuine friend values your trust and treats your secrets with utmost care.
Friends root for each other, not try to one-up or be jealous. A true friend celebrates your successes and accomplishments without jealousy or competition. If you notice that your friend consistently downplays your achievements or fails to acknowledge your milestones, it could be a sign of underlying resentment.
Healthy competition can be motivating, but if your interactions with someone seem to be perpetually characterized by one-upmanship, it’s a sign that they might not be a true friend. Constant competition can breed jealousy and resentment, eroding the foundation of a meaningful connection.
Identifying whether someone is truly a friend can be challenging, but recognizing these five signs can help you make an informed decision about the authenticity of your relationship. Be cautious, invest time wisely, and don’t settle for emoji friendships. In a world full of filters and edits, authenticity still shines like a diamond.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.