Beware of the New Dating Trend “Shrekking” Warns Relationship Expert

Online dating trends continue to evolve at a rapid pace, and while some help people connect more meaningfully, others can create confusion and even emotional stress. One of the latest phenomena gaining attention in the dating world is called “Shrekking.”

This trend has become a talking point among young singles navigating modern dating apps, raising questions about boundaries, honesty, and emotional well-being. Understanding what Shrekking is and its implications is crucial for anyone actively dating today, shares Shivani Misri Sadhoo, one of the top relationship and couples counsellors in this blog.

What is Shrekking, a new dating trend?

Shrekking is a relatively new term in the dating lexicon, derived from the idea of someone transforming from being charming and attractive online to a completely different persona in real life, much like the fictional character Shrek, who looks intimidating but has a complex personality. In the dating context, Shrekking occurs when a person presents themselves in an exaggeratedly idealised way online—through photos, bios, or conversations—but fails to live up to that representation in person.

This phenomenon goes beyond the traditional concept of “catfishing,” where individuals use entirely fake profiles. In Shrekking, the person is real, but their portrayal is so drastically altered that the in-person meeting becomes shocking or disappointing for the other party. This can involve misleading appearances, exaggerating personality traits, or even creating a lifestyle that doesn’t exist in reality. The dissonance between expectation and reality is what makes this trend emotionally impactful and increasingly discussed in dating circles.

Understanding the new dating trend

Shrekking taps into the pressures of modern dating, where digital profiles often serve as a curated version of oneself rather than an honest reflection. With the rise of apps that prioritise looks and quick judgments, many individuals feel compelled to highlight only their most attractive traits. This can lead to an unintentional culture of misrepresentation.

The impact of Shrekking is twofold. Firstly, it affects the person being Shrekked. Meeting someone who drastically differs from their online persona can lead to disappointment, frustration, and even a sense of betrayal. People invest time, energy, and emotional bandwidth into the potential of a connection. When expectations are unmet, it can feel like a breach of trust, even if the person did not intentionally deceive.

Secondly, it affects the individual doing the Shrekking. Maintaining a false or exaggerated persona requires effort and can result in anxiety or guilt over time. Shrekkers often find themselves trapped in a cycle of keeping up appearances, which can undermine authentic relationships. The pressure to meet societal standards of attractiveness or lifestyle can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy, ironically leading them to perpetuate the very behaviour they might secretly resent.

The trend also raises broader questions about authenticity in digital dating. Unlike casual dating decades ago, where first impressions were primarily formed in person, modern dating often begins online. Profiles, messages, and even voice notes create expectations long before the first face-to-face encounter. This amplifies the potential for Shrekking to occur because there is a larger gap between digital representation and reality.

Navigating Dating in the Age of Shrekking

Awareness is the first step in dealing with Shrekking. Understanding that online portrayals are often curated allows daters to approach new connections with a balanced perspective. While it is natural to want to impress, honesty about oneself, interests, and lifestyle can prevent misalignments later on.

Communication also plays a vital role. Open discussions about expectations and personal experiences can reduce the shock of Shrekking, helping both parties navigate the dating process more realistically. Meeting in neutral, comfortable environments can also make the transition from digital interaction to real-life encounter smoother.

Another aspect to consider is emotional resilience. Experiencing Shrekking does not reflect personal failure. It is a byproduct of a culture that emphasises curated identities and instant judgments. Cultivating self-awareness, patience, and a non-judgmental approach can help individuals process these experiences without unnecessary emotional turmoil.

Ultimately, Shrekking highlights the importance of authenticity in dating. While technology has made it easier to connect with potential partners, it has also introduced opportunities for misrepresentation. Recognising this trend encourages daters to value honesty, both in themselves and others, and to approach online connections with an understanding that initial impressions may not always align with reality.

The rise of Shrekking in the dating world serves as a reminder that digital personas are often just a glimpse of a person’s reality, not the whole story. As the trend spreads, those navigating the dating scene must balance curiosity and caution, cultivating awareness of how online interactions can differ from in-person realities. By prioritising transparency and managing expectations, individuals can minimise the emotional pitfalls of Shrekking, fostering more genuine connections in the modern dating landscape.