Counsellor Shivani shares how to confess the right way in a relationship
Many times people consider lying in a relationship as normal. Sometimes people hide facts to keep their marital life trouble-free and believe that its the right thing to do.
However, India’s eminent relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo warns lying to partner is a relationship timebomb. A partner should never accept that lying is common in relationships.
It is very crucial to know that harmless small lies do happen now and then in a relationship but bigger lies are not simple matters. Such lies are ticking time bombs in relationships and marriages. Gradually people found out or develop an intuition of their partner’s lie and they stop trusting them.
Hence lies are toxic and damaging for relationships. One should not tell a lie to your partner in the first place. But, if someone needs to do so, make sure it is not a big one. In case it is, he/she must admit lying to their partner at the right time in the right way because she/ he will know it eventually.
Here are some important tips to confess a lie to your partner in the most effective way.
Don’t Wait Long to Confess
When two people are in a romantic relationship, they gradually keep knowing each other sides of personalities and facts that people generally do not voluntarily express to their partners. Hence, it’s important to maintain honesty and rightfulness at home because your partner will eventually know about the lie, and it’s better that he/she should not discover it on their own. So do not wait long to confess your lie.
Do not reason your lie with blaming your partner
Make sure you confess with “I” and no other word. Something like, “I was not honest with you” or “I’m sorry that I did this”. Don’t blame your partner and making your lie look like your partner did something wrong which is why you chose to lie. That’s simply gaslighting your partner and will double down on your lie.
Work to honestly rectify the damage
When you confess your lie, ask your partner how she/he felt and what should you do to make things better. It is essential to talk to your partner in order to understand how and why they lost their trust in you and word towards gaining that trust back.Be patient and give your partner space
After you confess your lie, you may not know the intensity and kind of damage the lie has done to your partner’s mind and trust. So, don’t rush and push her/him to forgive you immediately. Be sorry and understand the pain that they are suffering through and give them time and space to come up with the forgiveness.
During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country to control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.
However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception. But try it before you disregard this option. This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.
You may find, telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!
Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues, emotional and psychological challenges.