How do relationships survive the ups and downs of life? The answer is “Resilience”.
No relationship is perfect, ever. Accepting imperfection is what makes a relationship successful, says Shivani Sadhoo. Conflicts and misunderstandings are part and parcel of every relationship. It is obvious that two people cannot always be on the same page. There will be disagreements. What matters is how you handle those disagreements. Resilient couples do it differently. They agree to disagree. Both partners respect each other’s opinions without actually accepting them. This makes the relationship stronger.
India’s eminent marriage counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares a few tips on the art of practising resilience in a relationship so that there is no room for infidelity or cheating.
Learn to compromise: Both partners must compromise for the relationship to be resilient. They need to let go of their ego and understand each other’s points of view and be empathetic.
Lend me your ear: Be patient and listen to your partner. Many times, you will be tempted to interrupt and make your point. But listening with rapt attention helps resolve many problems in life, making your relationship resilient.
Communicate effectively: Try to have an open-hearted conversation with your partner. Everything should be discussed-the good, the bad, and the ugly. Don’t let regret creep in. The more you communicate, the stronger your relationship will be.
To forgive is divine: Forgiveness is the key to resilience. It is not easy to forgive someone whose actions have caused you immense pain. Yet, if one has to move forward in life, forgiveness becomes a necessity, not a choice.
Prioritize your relationship: Setting priorities in life is certainly challenging when there are so many things to do. In order to make your relationship resilient, however, you need to prioritize it. When you neglect your partner, it leads to disappointment and discontent. They lose self-esteem and feel unimportant, which weakens the relationship. So, learn to take the big decisions in life together as a team.
Stand by your partner: In today’s algorithm-driven digital world, spending time together is very difficult. But, it is important to make time for each other. Whether you’re celebrating a job promotion or lending a shoulder when you’re down, be there for your partner. This will bring the two of you closer and strengthen your relationship further.
The power of words: Words can strengthen or destroy relationships. A simple ‘Thank you or ‘Sorry’ is what it takes to make relationships resilient. Show gratitude for all the little things your partner gets right. However, do not forget to apologize when you go wrong.
Be optimistic: Seeing the glass half full makes a relationship resilient, happier, and healthier. When a relationship hits a rough patch, being optimistic helps to find the right solution to the problem.
Relationships don’t become resilient overnight. All they need is a little bit of compromise, communication, coordination, and most of all a hundred percent commitment.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.