Falling in love might sound truly romantic. Those cozy coffee dates that could rival a rom-com, long walks that seem to defy the laws of time, and those stolen glances that could melt even the coldest of hearts. It all seems like the script of a fairy tale. Yet, as the initial enchantment fades, doubts may start creeping in, whispering in your ear, “Is it true love or just a fleeting infatuation?”
What are the things to stop if you are serious about finding love?
Let’s find out from India’s leading marriage counselor and relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo about the 5 things you must not do if you are in quest of true love.
1. Don’t be Hasty
Amidst the rollercoaster of feelings, it’s tempting to rush the journey and speed up your relationship. Love isn’t an instant fix. Every relationship demands time and understanding. Let the bond with your partner grow on its own. Constructing a sturdy base requires patience, so relish each moment of your love story instead of jumping ahead.
If you genuinely seek a profound connection, you must exercise patience. Avoid pushing the relationship to progress quicker than its natural pace. Let things unravel comfortably. Delight in discovering each other, and allow the relationship to unfold naturally. A robust foundation requires time to shape.
2. Don’t Overlook Red Flags
It’s crucial to be vigilant about potential issues in a relationship rather than turning a blind eye to them. Overlooking flaws in someone you’re attracted to is common, but for a relationship to stand the test of time, it’s essential to heed red flags. Do not disregard behaviours that make you uneasy or contradict your values. Trust your instincts; if something feels off, it warrants closer examination. Identifying and addressing red flags early on can prevent future heartache.
Love may be blind, but it’s advisable to wear rose-tinted glasses cautiously. A reputed psychologist emphasizes the importance of acknowledging red flags – those subtle indications that something might be awry. Whether it’s inconsistent behaviour, unaddressed concerns, or a persistent gut feeling, pay attention. True love is founded on trust, transparency, and open communication. Don’t shy away from addressing the proverbial elephants in the room – your heart will appreciate it in the long run.
3. Be Yourself
In the pursuit of new romance, it’s tempting to transform into a version you think your partner will adore. Authenticity is essential when it comes to love. Don’t play hide and seek with your true self. Remember that true beauty lies within.
Embrace your quirks, flaws, and eccentricities. Genuine connections flourish when both partners can be unapologetically themselves. Avoid conforming to societal ideals or trying to fit a specific mold. Love involves being seen, known, and vulnerable. Gradually peel back layers to develop a deeper connection. Be yourself.
4. Don’t Try To Change Them
Accept your partner for who they are; don’t try to change them. You cannot expect someone to be the epitome of perfection, as true beauty lies in these small imperfections within us. Don’t try to love someone to shape them into an ideal partner. Personal growth is individual; it can’t be forced. Remember, it’s the unique blend of strengths and weaknesses that makes each person special.
5. Don’t Look for Someone to Complete You
Love often prompts us to lose ourselves in the other person. While sharing your life with a partner is beautiful, it’s crucial not to neglect your growth and self-discovery. True love flourishes when both partners bring their authentic selves to the table, complete and content within.
So, don’t forget to nourish your individuality, pursue your passions, and prioritize your well-being. After all, a relationship is the union of two whole individuals, not two halves desperately seeking completion. When two individuals continue to grow independently, their love blossoms organically, enriched by the uniqueness each person brings to the table.
True love is a patient journey, requiring time, authenticity, and a keen eye for red flags. As psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo emphasizes, it thrives when individuals embrace their true selves, refrain from attempting to change their partners and remember that love is the union of two complete individuals fostering growth together.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
