While it may appear romantic to witness a bridesmaid joyfully catching the bouquet at a wedding, the reality is that many don’t harbour a genuine desire for matrimony. Marriage isn’t the ultimate goal for everyone, and that’s perfectly acceptable. It’s not about pleasing others; it’s about pursuing personal happiness.
Today, marriage isn’t just about family ties or securing assets. It’s about love, celebration, and personal choice. We marry for commitment, tradition, and the desire for a sense of belonging. It’s a declaration of adulthood, a safety net, and a way to fix or express something meaningful. But one must remember that marriage is a significant life decision, and what works for one person may not work for another.
Why it’s fine if you don’t wish to get married?
Leading relationship expert and couples counsellor, Shivani Misri Sadhoo tells us in detail why it is okay to say no to marriage:
No Need to Label Your Relationship
Healthy, committed relationships can flourish without the need for a marriage certificate. The success of a relationship is more about the connection, communication, mutual understanding, and shared values between partners rather than the legal or social status of being married.
Such relationships can be more flexible regarding lifestyle choices, career paths, and individual pursuits. This flexibility allows partners to adapt to changing circumstances and grow together without feeling constrained by traditional expectations.
Personal Freedom Matters
Marriage is a personal choice, and individuals have the right to prioritize their autonomy. If you are happy being single, then why choose marriage? Happiness is subjective, and contentment in a single life is just as fulfilling.
If marriage doesn’t align with one’s preferences, staying single allows for self-discovery, pursuing individual goals, and enjoying the freedom to shape one’s life independently.
Divorces are Disheartening
Breakups are tough, right? And if you throw marriage into the mix, it can get messy. It’s fine not to want to tie the knot, especially since studies say that marriage doesn’t come with a magical ‘forever’ guarantee.
And let’s be real, divorces are always a bit of a mess. No matter if both partners agree or not, legal hassles are the last thing anyone wants after pouring their heart and soul into a long-term relationship.
Money Matters
While marriage traditionally involves shared financial responsibilities, opting out allows you to maintain control over your money decisions. Without joint finances, you sidestep constant negotiation and compromise, gaining the freedom to manage your finances autonomously. In today’s world, prioritizing self-sufficiency often makes for a compelling case against entering the institution of marriage.
Too Many Responsibilities
It is true that marriage brings with it a lot of responsibilities. In India, marrying someone means embracing their whole family. The complexity of family dynamics often adds to the challenges faced by married couples. Juggling multiple sets of parents and their involvement in every aspect of life can be overwhelming.
Opting for a simpler, less encumbered relationship without the additional baggage of extended family might seem like a more appealing and manageable choice for some.
Rules and Expectations Galore
Marriage can feel like stepping into a maze of expectations. It starts with vows, but soon there’s a laundry list of societal demands—kids, a perfect home, a flashy car. Suddenly, everyone’s an expert on your marriage’s purpose and success. The pressure is relentless, and the joy of being together gets lost. Is it worth the hassle? The rules and expectations seem endless, turning the beautiful idea of marriage into a daunting journey dictated by others.
Relationships aren’t Your Thing
Not everyone’s into relationships. Some individuals, like aromantic or asexual individuals, just aren’t keen on that romantic stuff. Others, well, they’re more excited about putting their energy into different things. Relationships, whether good or bad, are no walk in the park. It’s like, not everyone sees them as the ultimate goal. We’ve got to respect that people value different things and that’s cool too!
8. Marriage doesn’t Guarantee Fulfillment
You don’t have to tie the knot to find fulfilment. Whether you’re in a relationship or happily single, passion for your job, close connections, and exciting hobbies can be enough. Happiness is personal—don’t let societal expectations dictate it.
The decision to remain unmarried is not a rejection of love or commitment but a celebration of personal autonomy and the myriad ways individuals can find fulfilment in their unique journeys. So, if the idea of marriage doesn’t resonate with you, rest assured—it’s perfectly okay.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
