Have you ever wondered why some people break into a sweat at the mere thought of striking up a conversation or acing a job interview? Well, turns out, that mastering the art of communication is key in our daily hustle. Not everyone effortlessly navigates social waters, and shyness often steals the spotlight. Whether it’s battling social anxiety or fearing judgment, confidence takes a hit.
Communication, a linchpin in life, demands finesse and courage to conquer the shy struggle. Shyness is a sense of awkwardness or apprehension that some people consistently feel when approaching or being approached by others. While some may perceive shyness as a personality trait, it’s essential to recognize that it can be overcome with the right strategies and mindset.
How to deal with shyness and get rid of it?
Eminent psychologist and relationship counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests key ways to overcome shyness in this article.
1. Accept your shyness
Embrace your uniqueness; shyness isn’t a flaw, but a unique approach to social interactions. Celebrate your strengths and acknowledge the distinctive perspective you bring. If shyness doesn’t hinder you, there’s no need to push its limits.
Accept that not everyone enjoys socializing, and that’s perfectly fine. Imperfections can be endearing too; embracing your quirks and vulnerabilities fosters genuine connections. Others may appreciate and like you more for your authenticity.
2. Get rid of Negative Thoughts
Don’t let negativity control your thoughts. Challenge and replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations. Focus on your strengths and visualize positive outcomes to reshape your mindset. Stop worrying about others’ opinions; people are busy with their own lives. If you’re thinking that others are going to judge you, then you are wrong. And even if they do, who cares!
3. Identify your objective
Start by setting achievable goals to expand your comfort zone. Take small steps, like initiating short conversations with colleagues or joining small social gatherings. Gradual exposure reduces social anxiety. Be honest with yourself about what you can handle and don’t overwhelm yourself.
4. Be a good listener
Most people love to talk about themselves. For those who are shy, networking can be easier if you focus on listening. Shy or not, many people don’t really listen; they’re just waiting to talk. If you’re shy, listening is simpler than talking. So, become a good listener. Instead of dreading your turn to speak, pay attention. Let others share their thoughts and experiences.
If you genuinely listen, people will remember the great conversation they had with you, even if you didn’t say much. Shyness often comes from fear of saying the wrong thing. By mastering active listening, you shift the focus away from yourself and make meaningful connections. Practice asking open-ended questions and show genuine interest in others. This not only eases social anxiety but also creates valuable connections.
5. Talk to a close friend
Having a friend is really helpful sometimes. If you’re shy or dealing with social anxiety, talking to a friend can be like personal therapy. It might feel a bit scary, but it’s worth it if you trust them. Expressing your feelings to a friend helps them understand you better.
Don’t be ashamed; they won’t misunderstand your social anxiety. A friend will never judge you. Practice talking to them, and you’ll get better at opening up and feeling comfortable in conversations.
6. Work on your social skills
Improving social skills takes time and practice. It doesn’t happen overnight. So, take baby steps towards developing your social skills. For instance, practice smiling. Smiling not only reflects happiness but can also make you feel happier.
You could even try to compliment people around you for their good work. Look how happy they feel and would want to start a conversation with you. Take a coffee break and have a small chat with your office colleague. The more you practice interacting with others, the more comfortable and proficient you’ll become. Overcoming shyness is a journey, not a destination. Celebrate each small step forward and learn from setbacks—they’re part of growing socially.
These are just a few effective strategies psychologist Shivani Misri Sadhoo suggests for overcoming shyness. Embrace your uniqueness, challenge negative thoughts, set achievable goals, be a good listener, confide in a friend, and work on your social skills gradually. Remember, overcoming shyness is a journey, marked by small steps and genuine connections.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
