Sometimes, we become so engrossed in our relationships that we tend to overlook our own well-being and self-care. While it is true that relationships are significant aspects of our lives, they should not come at the expense of prioritizing ourselves. For me, the most crucial relationship is the one we have with ourselves. Understanding oneself is the genesis of all wisdom.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo, India’s renowned psychologist and relationship counselor explains why it is more important to focus on your own life rather than relationships.
What you can avail by focusing on your own life instead of relationships?
According to Shivani Sadhoo, you can certainly avail of the following things, these are:
You can support others better
Taking time for yourself means taking a moment to think about your life. When people do this, they often become healthier in every way—mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This helps you connect with your inner special qualities. As a result, your relationships with others usually improve because you have more to give.
By taking care of yourself, you have more energy to share and you become better at supporting others. This is important because if you neglect yourself for too long, it can cause stress, resentment, and tension that can make you feel worn out. It’s like recharging our batteries so we can offer support, understanding, and love without feeling drained.
You become more attentive towards your partner
Taking time for yourself might seem selfish, but it’s actually super important for making your relationship stronger. When you focus on yourself, you’re giving yourself space to grow and connect with others outside of your relationship. It’s like nurturing your own garden – you become happier and more sure of yourself, which makes you a better partner.
Spending time alone helps you remember who you are and prevents you from spending too much on your relationship for your identity. So, go ahead, take that time for yourself – it’s good for you and your relationship!
You set an example for others
Taking care of yourself is like putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others on an airplane. You need to make sure you’re okay first so you can help others properly. By prioritizing self-care, you’re not only honoring your own well-being but also setting a positive example for others. Healthy relationships thrive when both parties prioritize their individual self-care, as it allows for mutual support and understanding.
You can achieve your goals
When you focus on yourself, your goals become clearer. You know what you want to do in life. This clarity empowers you to pursue your ambitions with determination and purpose. Consequently, in relationships, understanding your aspirations enables better communication and mutual support. By prioritizing your goals, you cultivate self-awareness, nurturing healthier connections built on authenticity and shared objectives. Ultimately, this balance enriches both personal growth and meaningful relationships, fostering fulfillment and harmony in the long run.
You understand relationships better
When you’re single, you often have more time and energy to invest in your friendships since you’re not committed to a romantic relationship. This can lead to deeper connections with your friends as you have more opportunities to spend quality time together, share experiences, and offer each other support.
Without the distractions or obligations of a romantic partnership, you may have a clearer perspective on the dynamics of relationships, both romantic and platonic. You may observe how different individuals interact with each other, what qualities contribute to successful relationships, and how to address various challenges that arise in interpersonal connections.
You become stronger mentally
When you focus on yourself instead of relationships, you become stronger and more resilient. You can make your decisions without any compulsion. You learn to derive satisfaction from within, rather than seeking external approval or validation. This self-sufficiency lays the groundwork for healthier, more balanced relationships in the long run.
What did you learn?
Now that we’ve explored the myriad benefits of prioritizing self-care over relationships, it’s evident that investing in oneself not only allows personal growth but also enhances the quality of relationships, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.