What is ICK in Relationship? Signs and How to Survive it?

Every relationship has its ups and downs. There are moments of deep connection, and then there are times when the smallest things can suddenly feel unbearable. Have you ever been completely into someone and then—out of nowhere—you’re turned off by how they chew, laugh, or even breathe?

That jarring feeling of sudden repulsion is called the “ick.” It’s common, confusing, and often misunderstood. Let’s dive deeper into what the “ick” is, how to recognize it, and whether you can work through it “shares India’s leading relationship and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo.

What is the “ICK” in a Relationship?

The “ick” is an emotional reaction where you suddenly feel a wave of discomfort, cringe, or even disgust toward your romantic partner—often over something minor. It’s not about major red flags like toxic behavior or betrayal. Instead, it’s about small, seemingly innocent actions or personality traits that spark a strong sense of aversion.

This feeling can come on suddenly, sometimes early in a relationship, but it can also surface after months of dating. It’s that unsettling moment when you think, “Why did I ever like this person?” The “ick” can be confusing because it often arises without logic. What seemed cute yesterday may feel annoying today.

Psychologically, the “ick” is thought to be your brain’s way of signaling a mismatch—an instinctive pushback against emotional or physical intimacy. But here’s the twist: sometimes the “ick” is about the other person, and sometimes it’s about our own fears, expectations, or hidden insecurities.

What are the Common Signs You’re Experiencing the ICK?

Sudden Cringe Over Small Habits – You start feeling repulsed by something harmless—like how they use emojis, their laugh, or even how they eat or walk.

Loss of Physical Attraction – What once felt attractive or sexy now feels off-putting. You avoid touching, cuddling, or even being close.

Irritation Over Kind Gestures – Even when your partner does something sweet, it feels forced or too much. Compliments and affection make you uncomfortable rather than loved.

Feeling Emotionally Distant – You start withdrawing emotionally, even if the other person hasn’t changed. You no longer feel excited to text or meet them.

Overthinking Every Little Thing – You analyze their behavior constantly, nitpicking everything from their outfit choices to their vocabulary.

Desire to Escape – You fantasize about ending the relationship or spending more time away from them, even if things were great just days ago.

Can You Survive the ICK? – Yes—but it depends on why you’re feeling the ick and how you respond to it.

Reflect on the Root Cause – Ask yourself: Is this ick about them or about me? Sometimes the ick is a sign of incompatible values or long-term mismatches. Other times, it’s a fear of commitment, intimacy, or vulnerability surfacing when things get serious.

Give It Time – If this is a new relationship, the ick may be a temporary reaction to newness or awkward moments. Don’t make drastic decisions based on a passing phase.

Differentiate Between ICK and Red Flags – The ick is not abuse, gaslighting, or lying—those are serious red flags that require a different response. But if the ick is about harmless quirks, evaluate whether they’re really deal-breakers.

Communicate (Gently) – You don’t need to say “I’m getting the ick” outright, but you can share feelings about being overwhelmed or needing space. Respect and kindness go a long way.

Reconnect Emotionally – Sometimes, the ick fades when you shift your focus to what brought you together—shared interests, emotional support, or a deep friendship.

The ick is real—and it can be frustrating. But it doesn’t always mean the end of a relationship. Sometimes it’s a gut-check moment, and other times it’s just a passing phase that comes from fear, stress, or over-analysis. The key lies in being honest with yourself: Is this a temporary glitch or a sign that this person just isn’t your match? Either way, understanding the ick gives you the power to either grow through it—or grow past it.