Leading Couples Therapist Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares Red and Green Flags that You Can Identify When Dating Someone
Dating is an exciting journey filled with new experiences, emotions, and connections. However, it’s essential to approach it with awareness and a keen eye for potential red and green flags. Just as red and green traffic signals guide us on the road, these flags provide valuable insight into the character and compatibility of our partners.
India’s top marriage counsellor and relationship expert, Shivani Misri Sadhoo explores the significance of red and green flags in dating, empowering you to make informed decisions and cultivate healthy relationships in this blog.
What are the Red Flags to Look for Dating?
1. Stonewalling is a red flag in dating when a partner constantly shuts down communication and refuses to engage or address concerns. For instance, if your partner abruptly stops responding or avoids discussing important relationship issues, it indicates stonewalling behavior.
2. Criticism, an ominous gust of disapproval, billows like a red flag in dating. When their words corrode your spirit instead of uplifting, beware! Example: “Your clothes are tacky” devours your confidence, suffocating the bloom of love. Seek kindness instead!
3. Lack of Respect: If your partner constantly belittles your opinions, disregards your boundaries, or dismisses your feelings, it’s a significant red flag. Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and without it, trust and mutual growth become challenging.
4. Controlling Behaviour: Beware of partners who exhibit controlling tendencies, such as constant monitoring, isolating you from loved ones, or dictating your choices. Healthy relationships thrive on trust, support, and independence.
5. Contempt, a vivid warning in the realm of romance, emerges when one partner holds an attitude of superiority and disdain towards the other. An example would be a partner mocking their significant other’s aspirations, belittling their dreams instead of offering support and encouragement.
6. Infidelity, the act of betraying a partner’s trust through cheating, is a significant dating red flag. It demonstrates a lack of respect, honesty, and commitment. For instance, if someone engages in a secret affair while in a committed relationship, it indicates their potential for dishonesty and disregard for boundaries.
What are the Green Flags to Watch Out in Dating?
1. Communication: A partner who actively listens, expresses themselves honestly, and encourages open dialogue is demonstrating a green flag. Effective communication lays the groundwork for understanding, compromise, and growth within the relationship.
2. Mutual Respect: When your partner values your opinions, appreciates your boundaries, and treats you as an equal, it’s a promising sign of mutual respect. Healthy relationships thrive on a foundation of respect and equality.
3. Apologise: Accepting responsibility and apologizing is a dating green flag as it shows maturity and accountability. For example, when a person acknowledges their mistake, takes ownership of it, and sincerely apologizes, it demonstrates their willingness to learn and grow in the relationship.
4. Emotional Intelligence: Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions effectively. A partner who displays emotional intelligence is empathetic, self-aware, and capable of navigating challenging situations with maturity and compassion.
5. Supportive Nature: A partner who genuinely supports your goals, passions, and personal growth demonstrates a green flag. They cheer you on, provide encouragement, and celebrate your achievements, creating a nurturing environment for personal development.
6. Shared values and interests act as dating green flags, showcasing compatibility and potential for a fulfilling relationship. Example: Both partners prioritize environmental sustainability, engaging in eco-friendly activities and volunteering together
Remember, these flags serve as general guidelines, and it’s essential to assess the overall context of the relationship. Trust your instincts and take the time to get to know someone before making significant commitments.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.