Each family has the occasional argument. But if you have always felt like you become your worst self when you are at home, your family might be treading on toxic territory. Toxic people are draining, the encounters with them leave you emotionally wiped out. Time spent with them is about taking care of their business, which will leave you feeling frustrated and unsatisfied, if not angry always. Counselor Shivani says don’t let yourself become drained as a result of constant giving and getting nothing in return. Sounds familiar?
This blog by India’s top Marriage Counselor and Relationship expert Shivani Misri Sadhoo shares about some of the prominent signs that suggest you are living in a toxic home.
Your Feelings Come Last Every Time
If you are physically abused, there are obvious warning signs that are clear to the outsiders- visible bruising, like a skittishness about being touched by a stranger.
But, emotional abuse is a lot more difficult to define.
A way to tell that you are in an emotionally abusive home is that your feelings always come last to your parents, siblings or your spouse always, without exception.
There is Always Some Sort of Drama Going On
Healthy and good families look to handle their conflicts without causing a major uproar.
Disagreements are thrown out with some raised voices but are otherwise maintained with love, respect, and honesty. When you’re living in a toxic home, one of the top warning signs is constant drama.
You could feel like every interaction is a hardship, and you are constantly walking on eggshells so you do not cause further strife. This unhealthy conduct could be found in several toxic homes.
They Exercise Control Over You Using Food, Money, or Other Resources
Another sign is that toxic family members exercise control over their household is by threatening their spouse, siblings, kids with consequences if they fail to follow the rules that they are arbitrarily put in place.
Some common outcomes include exclusion from meals, financial drawbacks, or other threats that are made to keep family members from gaining their independence.
You Are Instructed To Tell Lies Regarding Things That Occurred At Home
While there are certain things that must remain private amongst family members, the secrecy of any sort must not be tolerated.
This is specifically, true if your silence is covering up actions that are unlawful, unethical, and dangerous.
They Never Recognize Your Own Space or Boundaries
This sort of control can also be practiced by people you are not living with anymore, such as parents of grown children who want entry into their home at any given time of the day, or question the options that they have made with their spouse.
Healthy families always operate within respectful, healthy boundaries.
You Are Afraid of Your Safety
One of the finest methods that you can tell if you are in a toxic home is to trust your gut. If you are feeling insecure due to your family’s actions or words, then you have to trust your instincts and look to extricate yourself from the situation.
A healthy family or home never includes threats. There are a lot of resources for people who feel this way, anything from a crisis or emergency numbers that are free for anyone who needs them.
Never hesitate to reach out.
You Are Constantly Reminded How Fortunate You Are
One of the potent tools in a toxic individual’s emotional armoury is their insistence that you are fortunate to live with them and that you have no worth without them.
This emotional manipulation is done by people who are gravely insecure, and who need your slavish devotion in an attempt to feel comfortable with themselves.
If you are constantly being told how fortunate you are to be with your family, added with the insinuation that you would be lost elsewhere, it’s a big warning sign that you are in a toxic home.
Your Counselor Is Now Just Skype/Video Call Away
During the current challenging time, it’s common to experience anxiety, depression, sleeplessness, and relationship challenges at home. While you are under lockdown and maintaining social distancing norms to help the country control COVID-10 spread, your very own counsellor Shivani is now just a call and Skype video call away from you.
However, in this age of coronavirus, we hope to offer our therapeutic help. Change is difficult for all of us and changing the way you meet with your therapist is no exception. But try it before you disregard this option. This is a challenging moment in time, and fears and anxieties are running high.
You may find, that telepsychology isn’t a second-rate option. Instead, it’s an effective and efficient upgrade to a valuable service!
Feel free to call Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo at +91-8860875040 for telephonic or video support and to book an online counselling session to address any relationship issues or emotional and psychological challenges.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
