Manipulation in relationships can be subtle or overt, but in all forms, it is harmful and detrimental to a healthy partnership. When manipulation occurs, one partner uses tactics to control, dominate, or influence the other in ways that are emotionally damaging. It’s important to recognize these behaviours early and not tolerate them, as they can erode trust, respect, and emotional security.
What are the 5 manipulative behaviours you should not bear in a relationship?
Here are five manipulative behaviours you should never tolerate in a relationship as explained by Shivani Misri Sadhoo, who is one of the best couples counsellors and marriage therapists in Delhi and India in this blog.
Emotional Blackmail
Emotional blackmail is a classic form of manipulation where one partner uses guilt, fear, or obligation to control the other’s actions. They might say things like, “If you loved me, you would do this,” or “I’ll hurt myself if you leave.” This tactic forces you into making decisions based on emotional pressure rather than your own will.
It can make you feel trapped and powerless, and over time, it can severely damage your self-esteem and sense of independence. No one should ever feel emotionally coerced into doing something they are uncomfortable within a relationship.
Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the manipulator makes the victim question their reality, memory, or perceptions. They might say things like, “That never happened,” or “You’re being too sensitive.”
This tactic leaves the victim feeling confused, insecure, and dependent on the manipulator for clarity or validation. Over time, gaslighting can destroy a person’s self-confidence and lead to feelings of isolation and anxiety. A healthy relationship is built on mutual trust and understanding, not one partner distorting the other’s reality.
Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic used to punish or control a partner. When someone shuts down communication to avoid conflict or to make the other person feel guilty, it creates a toxic atmosphere. The silent treatment can leave you feeling rejected, anxious, and confused about what you’ve done wrong.
Instead of resolving issues through open communication, the silent treatment prolongs the conflict and erodes emotional intimacy. In a respectful relationship, both partners should feel safe to express their feelings without the fear of being ignored.
Constant Criticism
Constructive feedback is important in a relationship, but constant, destructive criticism is a form of manipulation. When a partner constantly belittles you, points out your flaws, or makes you feel inadequate, it’s a tactic to undermine your self-worth and control you through insecurity. Phrases like “You’re never good enough” or “You always mess things up” can make you doubt your abilities and depend on the manipulator for validation. It’s essential to recognize that persistent criticism is not about helping you grow but about keeping you under control.
Isolation
Isolation is a common tactic used by manipulators to separate their partner from friends, family, or any support system. They may insist that you spend all your time with them or discourage you from maintaining relationships outside of the partnership.
Over time, this leads to social isolation, making it easier for the manipulator to control your life. Isolation cuts off the support network that might otherwise help you see the unhealthy dynamics of the relationship. In any healthy relationship, maintaining connections with friends and family is crucial.
Manipulative behaviours like emotional blackmail, gaslighting, silent treatment, constant criticism, and isolation are destructive and have no place in a healthy relationship. These tactics erode trust, self-esteem, and emotional well-being, ultimately leading to an imbalanced and toxic partnership.
It’s essential to recognize these red flags and set boundaries, ensuring that you don’t allow manipulative behaviour to take root in your relationship. Remember, a relationship should be a space of mutual respect, understanding, and support, where both partners feel valued and safe. If you experience any of these manipulative behaviours, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship and seek help if needed.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
