When a couple falls in love, one key question arises: What keeps their relationship strong over time? The answer is unique to each relationship. While trust is essential, intimacy is equally important. True intimacy goes beyond physical closeness and involves sharing your deepest fears, dreams, and thoughts without fear of judgment. It’s about being seen, heard, and valued by your partner, strengthening both emotional and intellectual bonds.
The bedroom is often the place where intimacy is either nurtured or neglected. Creating a space where couples can connect deeply before sleep is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship.

Which behaviours to avoid in the bedroom for better intimacy between couples?
Certain behaviours can harm your relationship. According to leading marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, here are some key habits to avoid:
Say No to Technology
While it’s tempting to scroll through your phone before bed, this habit can undermine intimacy. Constantly being on your phone sends the message that your partner is less important than what’s happening online.
Using devices in the bedroom emotionally isolates you from your partner and disrupts your focus on each other. It can also interfere with sleep, making you irritable the next day. Keep the bedroom a tech-free zone to foster a more meaningful connection and better intimacy.
Don’t Avoid Conversations
After a long day, you may just want to sleep, but taking a few moments to reconnect emotionally can make a big difference. A brief conversation about your day helps you unwind and shows that you care.
Ignoring each other before bed can create emotional distance over time. Make an effort to share highlights or challenges from your day, without necessarily offering solutions. This strengthens your bond and keeps the relationship alive.
Don’t Sleep in Different Beds
Frequent separation at bedtime can erode intimacy. Sleeping together provides time to relax and connect emotionally. When couples sleep apart regularly, it creates emotional distance, reducing physical closeness and weakening the overall bond. While occasional nights apart may be necessary, sleeping separately often can make you feel more like roommates than romantic partners.
Leave Stress Outside
Bringing stress into the bedroom—whether about work, finances, or personal issues—can harm intimacy. Tension from these worries disrupts the peaceful atmosphere needed for emotional connection and restful sleep.
Stress can lead one partner to feel rejected or neglected, causing frustration over time. Set boundaries around stressful topics, making the bedroom a sanctuary for relaxation and emotional intimacy.
Avoid Different Sleep Schedules
When couples go to bed at different times, they miss out on valuable moments of connection. Whether it’s chatting, cuddling, or simply being close, these moments help build affection. Consistently different sleep schedules can lead to emotional distance and make you feel more like roommates than romantic partners. Share bedtime routines to maintain intimacy.
To nurture intimacy, make the bedroom a space for emotional connection, free from distractions and stress. Prioritize communication, shared time, and physical closeness to strengthen your relationship and keep it deeply connected.

Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counselor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute . She is trained on specialized key relationship counseling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialized training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counselors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practices independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.