Falling in love with a narcissist and emotionally manipulative a person is like opening the door to invisible misery and pain to your relationship / marital life. This misery is very difficult to identify at an early stage, and when the person finally identifies their partner’s emotional tactics, it generally too late, and in most cases the victim has already been robbed by their self-confidence, mental clarity and peace and reaches a mental state of confusion and depression.
Remember the mind of a narcissist, the person will try to get their needs, even the selfish ones, by all means possible ” the end justifies the means is their motto in life” Those means in relationships are called “Emotional manipulative tactics”.
That is why it is important to understand and to be aware of the common emotional manipulative techniques a narcissistic person.
Especially if you are going for an arranged marriage – relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo warns brides and their family to be careful for the common emotional manipulation tactics that narcissist men commonly use.
Remember, one of the major ways to recognize a narcissist is by focusing on the real-life actions he does, not what he says as he can be a master manipulator with words.
Hence the first sign of emotional manipulation is unreasonable exaggerated expressions of love that are not backed by actions. The person will start sending too many poems & love quotes, may repeating say “I Love You” / ” I Never thought that I Would meet someone like you “in a deliberate effort to make you feel very special.
Remember real love needs time, a whole lot of actions, & the effort to grow but that isn’t something a narcissist would want to offer. The aim of this tactic is to convince you that he loves you, waiting for you to develop feelings for him, & once you announce how much he means to you, then his game of control and play will start.
Remember emotional manipulators are incredibly skilled liars. They insist an incident didn’t happen when it did, and they insist they did or said something when they didn’t. The trouble is they’re so good at it that victims end up questioning their own judgemental capabilities.
Words don’t match their actions
Their actions don’t match their words. Emotional manipulators will tell you what you want to hear, but their actions are another story. They pledge their support, but, when it comes time to follow through, they act as though your requests are entirely unreasonable.
After the narcissist starts a relationship, then their second strategy commonly is to put their victims in a cage or the “Standby box”, where he feels safe even after he leaves the victim that he can come back any time, knowing that you are waiting for him.
This stage can be identified by narcissist’s using vague statements like ” I need a break, I need space, I am confused & my life is hectic, I Don’t know what’s wrong with me ” then as time passes by, he intermittently reinforces the fact that you are still in his life.
Hence: when you doubt of detecting a narcissist and emotionally manipulative person and family – leave no stone unturned to do a thorough background check. Cross-check with the guy’s old breakups, or with families of girls who said no to marry with the person, cross with impartial neighbors and colleagues.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.