Be it a friendship or a love relationship, it can never be perfect, as one often reads in fairytales, no matter how efficiently you and your significant one or your friend attempt. Your partner has some bad traits or habits, but you are also no exception.
Shivani says several couples break up because they are not able to admit their shortcomings and they keep arguing or fighting until one of the partners wins the game. If you are looking to save your relationship or simply make it a bit happier, here are certain things suggested in this blog by relationship expert and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo you and your partner must refrain from doing in your relationship.
Stop Doubting or Suspecting
It is fine to keep in touch all the time, but do not push too far. Relationships are all about trust, so you must bear in mind that you are his beloved and he/she isn’t going to cheat on you. Therefore, you must not call him every time you have a spare minute or simply don`t know what to do. When you trust someone, you see that there is no need to suspect. You need to believe that, suspecting and spying on your partner is never going to help you build a happy relationship.
Being in a relationship does not mean you have to lose yourself. Even when you are in a happy relationship, you need to have your own interests and friends. Losing your self-identity when there is no partner around you is a mistake. Loving someone is certainly great, but you must not lose yourself irrespective of how much you love your partner.
Stop the Habit of Comparing
You must never compare your loved one or a friend to anyone else, specifically to your ex-partner or other friends. Accept all their traits, and learn to love them for who they are. Definitely, from time to time everyone makes comparisons and it mostly happens unintentionally, but it proves that all you have to do is concentrate on good things mostly.
Do not Lie
It goes without saying, but still, many couples and relationships break up due to lying. People mostly try to acquit their “nearly invisible lies”, as they think it is harmless and, therefore, not essential. But those small lies could lead to something much bigger later on. You might think it is fine to use small, white lies and then you begin to appreciate lying in general. Honesty is a critical aspect in any relationship so try to be honest and sincere with regards to your relationship with anyone in general and, hopefully, you will be honest with yourself as well.
Get Rid of Grudges
When you are in a happy relationship, you give and take. It is never an easy task since both of you need to invest your time and effort into your relationship. Both of you make errors and there’s nothing incorrect with that. Discuss your issues and forgive your partner, if your partner is wrong. It is not healthy to hold grudges or rage. If you cannot alter the situation, then try to alter your attitude to it.
Refrain from Taking Anyone for Granted
You are never going to create a long-term relationship when you take anyone you love for granted. Get rid of those bad traits. Knowing that she/he is aware of your love is not enough. Show your partner how much you love and appreciate them on a regular basis. Do not let your partner forget that he is the only one who is able to make your life wonderful and your relationship worth being called amazing.
Besides, all these you need to understand when you are in any relationship whether as a couple or friend you need to know that your relationships are not a game to play with anyone. There are no winners or losers. Rather, help your loved one to win the fight. In this manner, you will not show your weakness. You will convey that you are wise and smart enough to avoid playing any sort of game. You will both be content if you begin to look for consensus. Considering your partner as your opponent while you are fighting always causes serious issues to the relationship.
Any relationship requires continuous careful attention and nurturing. Your significant one is the only person who always makes great attempts for you to be happy. Think of things you are wrong about and first try to do everything you can to get away from those mistakes. Love each other and be grateful for your happy relationship.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.