Love is not only about romantic coffee dates or candlelit dinners on a starry night. It is also about real connection, understanding, and support in everyday moments. True love is the steady hand that holds you up when life’s winds threaten to knock you down, the warm embrace that comforts you in your darkest hours, and the unwavering presence that stands by your side through both joy and sorrow. Sometimes, relationships can be tough to handle. How would you feel if your partner gives you the cold shoulder or fails to appreciate you?
What are the signs that show a person does not deserve you whom you love?
Let’s learn from India’s eminent couples and marriage counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo about a few signs that your beloved doesn’t deserve you.
When equal effort is missing
A relationship should be a two-way street where both people put in effort. If you’re the only one making plans, reaching out, or fixing issues, it’s not fair. Healthy relationships need mutual interest and effort. If it feels like you’re doing all the work, it’s a sign the other person isn’t stepping up. This one-sidedness can leave you feeling confused and drained. You might wonder if they care about you or if you’ve done something wrong. Reciprocal effort is essential for a relationship to thrive, and when it’s missing, it’s time to reassess.
They are self-centered
A relationship should be about sharing and caring, but if one person always puts their needs first, it’s a problem. They might act like they’re better than you or ignore your feelings. Both partners should make sacrifices and compromises. If they don’t, they’re not treating you right. A loving partner will work hard for the relationship without expecting anything in return. They’ll cherish you, and you’ll want to love them back. Selfishness can show up in different ways, like making decisions without talking to you or expecting you to do everything for them.
Disregard your feelings
If your partner constantly ignores or dismisses your feelings, it’s a clear sign that they may not be the right person for you. In a healthy relationship, both partners should respect and value each other’s emotions. When someone disregards your feelings, it can create a sense of emotional neglect and make you feel unimportant. A supportive and caring partner will take the time to listen, understand, and acknowledge your emotions, building a stronger connection and mutual respect.
Looks down on you
In a healthy relationship, equality is crucial. If your partner consistently makes you feel inferior, belittles you, or tries to one-up you, it’s a sign of their insecurity. Criticizing your appearance, speech, or status indicates a lack of respect. If they refuse to acknowledge you publicly or call you embarrassing, it’s emotional abuse. Remember, it’s not your fault, and you deserve unconditional love without changing who you are. Frequent insults and attempts to diminish you signal an unhealthy relationship that you may need to reconsider.
When they keep telling lies
Trust serves as the bedrock for a strong relationship. Genuine love involves the courage to be honest, even when the truth is painful. If you repeatedly catch your partner in lies and they refuse accountability, it’s a significant red flag. Dishonesty signals a lack of respect, a fundamental element for a healthy relationship. Opt for a partner who values truth, as honesty lays the foundation for a lasting and meaningful connection, regardless of gender.
When they manipulate you
When your partner manipulates you, they twist your words and make you feel guilty for expressing your feelings. They constantly guilt-trip you into doing things for them and gaslight you by distorting reality. They may use tactics like emotional blackmail, projecting their behaviors onto you, giving silent treatment, love bombing, withholding affection, and isolating you from your support network. These behaviors are signs of manipulation and can have a detrimental impact on your relationship and well-being.
Beware of overlooking these signs in your relationship. The one-sided effort, selfishness, disregard for your feelings, belittling, dishonesty, and manipulation all point to a lack of respect and care. Recognizing these red flags empowers you to prioritize your emotional well-being and seek relationships built on mutual love and respect.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship Counsellor by world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained on specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo, is also Certified for Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy.
Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialised training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counsellors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practice independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India but also listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital – Institute of Brain & Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
