Life is not always what we expect it to be. Sometimes, we are happy to be with people, and sometimes, we simply want solitude—a moment of peace away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. Again, there are those times when we feel empty despite being surrounded by people. That’s called loneliness. It is that state of mind in which you feel completely isolated emotionally. No matter how many friends and relatives you have around you, you still feel unseen, unheard, and unrecognised.
While being alone can be intentional (when you want that ‘me time’), or unintentional due to circumstances beyond your control, loneliness, by contrast, is always unintentional. A relationship is a powerful antidote to loneliness, but only when it’s authentic and fulfilling.
However, not all relationships give you the sense of satisfaction and happiness you desire. Some relationships can amplify your sense of loneliness even more when conversations become shallow, when your emotions are not met with understanding, or when your presence feels more like a habit than a choice for the other person. So, how do you understand this feeling of loneliness in a relationship? What are the triggers?
What are the Signs And Causes of Loneliness?
India’s leading relationship and marriage counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo explains the signs and causes of loneliness in a relationship.
1. When Communication is Superficial
One of the signs that you are lonely in a relationship is a lack of meaningful communication between the partners. Saying ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ sounds more like an obligation than a connection. There is no warmth here. A relationship cannot survive on superficial gestures alone. Couples need to talk to each other if they want to be heard and understood.
Words can be so powerful when used to truly connect with someone. Unless and until there is honest communication, where each person can say as well as hear what the other person feels, the relationship will suffer. A strong feeling of loneliness will certainly creep in. When your better half or beloved fails to communicate with you, it can feel like you’re sharing space with a stranger rather than a partner. That silence can literally echo louder than any argument ever could.
2. When You Feel Unheard
How would you feel if your partner simply brushed off something very important to you? You may have wanted to enjoy your weekend with your friends, but your partner had other plans. It feels as though you are not important to them, and that your feelings are being dismissed or overlooked. You start feeling lonely and depressed.
3. When One Partner is Authoritative
A relationship can only be truly fulfilling and successful when there is mutual respect, understanding, and support between both partners. When one partner becomes overly authoritative or dominant, it disrupts the balance of power.
This imbalance can lead to resentment, frustration, and ultimately, a lack of emotional fulfilment for both individuals. In a healthy relationship, the word “I” takes a backseat to “we.” It’s about partnership, not control. When one person starts to feel inferior or unheard, loneliness inevitably creeps in—even when they’re not physically alone.
4. When One Partner is too Demanding
Studies show that couples often become so emotionally reliant on each other that their lives start to feel completely intertwined. The boundaries get diffused. While proximity is important, this intense over-concern—marked by excessive worry, guilt, neediness, and sacrifice—can become suffocating.
In such codependent dynamics, one partner may feel overwhelmed by constant demands, while the other loses their sense of self in trying to meet them. Over time, this imbalance can take a toll on the relationship, leaving both individuals vulnerable to loneliness, especially during inevitable periods of emotional distance.
5. Stonewalling
In a relationship, emotional intimacy is the foundation that keeps partners connected and understood. When one partner shuts down emotionally—a behaviour often referred to as stonewalling—they withdraw from meaningful interaction, leaving the other feeling isolated and unimportant.
This lack of emotional engagement creates a void where communication once existed, fostering feelings of loneliness, rejection, and confusion. Over time, the absence of emotional support and responsiveness can erode trust and deepen emotional distance, making the relationship feel more like cohabitation than a genuine partnership.
Conclusion
Ultimately, loneliness in a relationship stems from emotional disconnection—when words lose meaning, presence feels distant, and understanding fades. Real connection needs honest communication, mutual respect, and emotional support. Without these, even love can feel lonely. True companionship means feeling seen, heard, and valued—not just sharing space, but sharing hearts.
Shivani Misri Sadhoo is an internationally recommended relationship counsellor by the world’s biggest and most trusted study and research-based foundation for couples therapy – Gottman Institute. She is trained in specialised key relationship counselling Skills from AIIMS, VIMHANS and various other reputed institutions. Counsellor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also certified in emotionally focused therapy, cognitive behavioural therapy, and dialectical behaviour therapy.
Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo is also a Certified Neuro Linguistic Practitioner with specialized training and experience in the field of affairs/betrayals, trust issues, difficulty communicating, conflicting values, bereavement, grief and loss (affairs, separation, divorce, childhood) and emotional health issue (anxiety, social anxiety, fear, depression, low mood).
Currently, Shivani Misri Sadhoo is one of the top counselors with the HIGHEST Success Rate with over 17,000 happy couples and individuals (based in India and abroad), who has benefited from her therapy. Psychologist and Counselor Shivani Misri Sadhoo not only practices independently from her clinic in Greater Kailash, Delhi, India, but also is listed on the panel of eminent hospitals like IBS Hospital Panel – Institute of Brain and Spine, Express Clinic, Fortis (formerly) based in Delhi.
Call Counselor: +91-8860875040
Email: saarthiforlife@gmail.com
